My heart is full now. I have read about this. I have taught this. I have contemplated the Sanskrit word for this; purnah. I have worked hard to remove the obstacles to the awareness of this. Fullness. Full heart.
And then, it arose. It was just there. A fullness that I have never before known. As if it has always been there.
This comes after the grappling with decisions as I maneuvered to slide out of the slippery grip of years of smallness. Taking a job and then leaving it. And, once again, moving. And, a deep, quiet and fullness.
My heart cannot hold more. I breathe into it.
This summer, giving away a few more things, and owning less, I have more. Leaving once again to take to the road, I am at home. Having little but still full.
I am going into retreat for the summer. Leaving this little sanctuary I will pack my car with almost all that I own and I have never been richer. Release gives way to relief. My sentence has been commuted. It was I who was judge and jury. It was me who condemned myself to die, only at the end, like Abraham, am I given not only my Life, but a state of Grace. Don’t give up the journey to Love until you reach it and you will know it by it’s vast spaciousness. You will know it by it’s luminosity. You will know it because you will recognize it as your own Self.
You will recognize it when you experience fullness beyond what you have or don’t have. What you have gained or lost. It is beyond all of that, as are you.
May you feel full and content and at peace
now and always
and in all ways.